Does your mind overthink too? Mine sure does.
“What if I cannot do it? What if I mess up?”
“Oh, this is too hard, I won’t do it. “
“Wow, things are pretty good for me right now, what if something bad happens?”
This stuff is what minds do.
Our minds have evolved to be on the lookout for stuff that can go wrong and sometimes they kinda just get stuck in thoughts. Have you noticed that?
Getting stuck basically means we let our thoughts dominate us. We let them tell us what to do. We sometimes let them bully us, if it comes to self-criticism.
For example, I have thought that this is too hard - so I just abandon it. Or just procrastinate.
Or, I have the thought that something is not fair, so I start yelling.
Getting stuck in thoughts is good if that means I move along towards important things in my life.*you remember to turn off the stove and save your kitchen.
It’s bad if you start being inactive, avoidant, and generally moving away from what is important. *you start thinking that you won’t be able to handle a date and don’t go, although you want to meet new people.
Everybody does it, we are all in it, and sometimes it sucks, so today we’ll cover a quick skill to begin getting unstuck from your thinking.
Let’s go:
So first of all, bring to mind a thought that gets you stuck - I’m kidding, I’m sure it’s there already 🙂
Then, gently and with openness, try to repeat it out loud, using the phrase - I notice that my mind is telling me x.
See what happens with that thought. Is there a bit of distance between you and the thought?
Now, try to see what kind of voice your mind uses to tell you this thought - is it your own?
What kind of tone is it using? It is aggressive, passive, or calm?
What kind of pitch is it using - is it a high pitch like a soprano? A low pitch like a baritone?
Now see what happens with the thought - is there a bit of distance?
Now just see if acting on this thought will move you to do what’s important to you or if it will get you stuck.
The aim here is NOT to remove the thought or to get rid of it.
It’s just to create a bit of distance between yourself and the thought.
That will allow you to see more clearly what you want to do. A bit of discomfort is expected. Remember the clean pain?
Here’s an example:
Initial thought - I’m gonna mess it up and nobody is gonna understand this skill!
Observing it: I am having the thought that I am going to mess it up and that nobody is going to get this skill.
Notice the voice: Hm, I think it’s a dismissive voice, it has a high pitch voice like a nagging woman and it kinda bothers me.
Purpose: Well, I want to finish this article, because it’s important for me to talk about managing difficult stuff. So If I get caught up in it, I will just close this doc and don’t finish it. So, yeah, getting stuck in this is not helpful.
So that’s it. How did it go? How stuck are you in this thought now? Write and tell me about it.