Is it a hot bath, is it a mild walk? It's self-care!
What is and isn't self-care
Hello everybody, and welcome back to Acertivo’s substack.
Today’s topic is a hot topic for this coming Holiday season - Self-care.
We’ve all heard about it, we’ve all tried to do it, and most of us are trying actively maybe as you are reading this. Hell, maybe reading this is your self-care.
If you ask most people what they consider to be self-care, you will get answers like these:
Taking a hot bath alone
Taking a walk
Eating something good
Having time to relax
Doing an activity that they like.
And they are all kinda true. They most definitely help.
But they are not self-care.
From my point of view, self-care refers to more than physical stuff.
It is more about your general well-being - emotional, mental & physical.
Self-care is also about:
How you manage your body budget.
Are you aware of how your bodily sensations affect your mood? Are you aware of how your sleep (or lack of it) affects your irritability, your appetite, and your exercise routine?
Every time you make conscious decisions about your behaviour taking your body into account, that’s self-care.
How you manage and understand your emotions.
Are you aware of your emotions? Can you identify them? Can you understand them?
Every time you are aware of how you feel and the way that this influences your behavior, then that is self-care.
How you talk to yourself
Can you notice your thoughts? Can you notice how you are talking to yourself? Especially in difficult times? Are you getting stuck in self-criticism? Are you being kind to yourself?
Every time you are aware of the voices in your mind, of what your mind is telling you, then that is self-care.
What story you are telling about yourself?
We all have a narrative about our lives. How we came to be the way we are. What helped us develop the way that we are? What beliefs and stories do we have about ourselves? How kind and coherent are they? How helpful are they?
How are your relationships?
Do you know what relationships add to your well-being? Or which ones drain you?
Which are the most satisfying? Which do you feel like avoiding? Do you make conscious actions toward maintaining and growing those relationships?
And finally, Self-care is about how well you know your values.
Are you aware of why you do the things that you do? Have you ever asked yourself what matters to you and what do you want your life to be about?
I believe that these are all self-care. The bath, the relaxing zen, the candles, and the walk are just the things that you do.
Tie them to the way that you live your life, the way that you talk to yourself and you have self-care all around.
For this coming holiday, I am inviting you to spend some time with yourself, something to write on, and reflect on the questions above.
I can guarantee that you will have a better start to the year. At least a more self-aware one :)
This is the last substack of the year.
Next year we will start a series of workshops for those interested in digging deeper into their emotional health & applying these tools to their particular issues.
Until then, have an inspiring end of the year, and be kind to yourself & others.