Tool no 2. Know your thoughts

the no 1 enemy of speaking in public

Negative thinking is always an important factor when talking about anxiety or worry in social situations. Three types of negative thinking are usually involved: 

->scenarios: if I talk I will stammer, I will say something stupid, everybody will see that I have anxiety; they will judge me, etc. 

-> catastrophizing: it is horrible to feel this way; It is the worst thing if people laugh at me or judge me or notice my feelings.

-> negative self-evaluation: I am weak, I am stupid, I am incapable of doing this. 

Your mind sure does make a number on you!

For this tool, think about a situation that you tend to avoid and write down what you are thinking before or during the situation. 

It may seem like you don’t want to know all this because it’s hurtful and you feel bad when you think about all this. I get it, I know.

Just know that being aware of your thoughts helps you manage them better. You get un-caught from them and you don’t let them boss you around.

You can use the tool here to better manage your thoughts.

This will help you become more aware of the thoughts that pop into your mind as well as notice that some of them might be un-based, rigid, or just showing only one side of the story. 

Example: being embarrassed; looking stupid; being disliked; feeling powerless; being rejected; not knowing what to talk about; stuttering; not finding your words. 

Do your best to formulate your thoughts:

→ I will not know what to talk about and have long awkward pauses. People will notice and this will be weird. They will think that I am an idiot. 

Remember that your mind is telling you all this so that it will keep you safe.

That’s tool no 2 for you. In my experience, just knowing your thoughts and writing them down will take the edge off them.

Next week, tool no 3 - escaping generalization.